New year.New resolutions.
"This year, we'll communicate better as family." "We'll spend more time together." "We'll yell less at kids."
Beautiful intentions. But where is God in all this?
Psalm 127:1- "Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it."
If God doesn't build your family,all your efforts are vain.
Why Your Resolutions Fail
You Rely on Your Strength
"This year, I will be better parent."
I. ME. MY strength. MY willpower.MY determination.
Jeremiah 17:5- "Thus says the LORD: 'Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD.'"
Relying on your strength =guaranteed curse.
You'll last through January.Mid-February, you'll have quit.
You Forget Who Gives Strength
Philippians 4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Not "I can do all things through my willpower".Through CHRIST who strengthens me.
Be patient with your children?You need God.
Love your spouse after argument?You need God.
Forgive quickly?You need God.
You Don't Seek His Direction
You make your resolution list.Then ask God to bless YOUR plans.
It's backwards.
Proverbs 3:5-6- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
Ask God WHICH resolutions He wants for your family.Then obey.
The 7 Resolutions That Will Transform Your Family
RESOLUTION 1: Put God FIRST
Matthew 6:33- "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
Not second. Not "when we have time". FIRST.
Concretely:
- Daily family devotional(10 minutes minimum - Bible + prayer)
- Sunday = Lord's day(church as family non-negotiable)
- Family decisions made AFTER praying(not reverse)
If God is first, everything else finds its place.
RESOLUTION 2: Pray TOGETHER Daily
Matthew 18:19-20- "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."
Family that prays together stays together.
Concretely:
- Morning:5 minutes - Father prays for each member's day
- Meals:Each says one gratitude before eating
- Evening:5 minutes - Mother prays for protection and rest
- Sunday:Extended family prayer (15-20 minutes)
Common prayer creates spiritual intimacy nothing else can create.
RESOLUTION 3: Teach the Word to Your Children
Deuteronomy 6:6-7- "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."
Not just at church. IN YOUR HOUSE.
Concretely:
- Bible story at bedtime(age-appropriate)
- Verse to memorize each week(whole family)
- Daily practical application("How do we live this verse today?")
- Answers to biblical questions(create safe space to ask)
Proverbs 22:6- "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
RESOLUTION 4: Love as Christ Loves
John 13:34- "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another."
AS Christ loved. Not as world loves.
Concretely:
- Love when other doesn't deserve(Christ loved us when we were sinners)
- Serve without expecting return(washing feet)
- Forgive quickly(70 times 7)
- Sacrifice for other(Christ gave His life)
1 Corinthians 13:4-7- "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
This love doesn't come from you. It comes from God.
RESOLUTION 5: Forgive as God Forgives
Ephesians 4:32- "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
AS God forgave you. Completely. Quickly. Freely.
Concretely:
- No accumulated grudges(resolve conflicts same evening)
- Ask forgiveness explicitly("I was wrong, forgive me")
- Grant forgiveness explicitly("I forgive you, it's forgotten")
- Don't bring up forgiven offenses(God doesn't)
Matthew 6:14-15- "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
No forgiveness in family = no forgiveness from God for you.
RESOLUTION 6: Serve Together
Galatians 5:13- "For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
Mutual service destroys selfishness.
Concretely:
- In family:Each serves other (not just parents serve children)
- At church:Serve together as family (greeting, cleaning, worship)
- In community:Monthly service project (feed homeless, visit sick)
Mark 10:45- "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve."
If Christ came to serve, your family must serve.
RESOLUTION 7: Protect Your Family Spiritually
Ephesians 6:12- "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
Your family is under spiritual attack. Defend it.
Concretely:
- Monitor what enters house(media, influences, friends)
- Pray protection over each memberdaily
- Teach spiritual discernmentto children
- Fast as familyfor difficult situations
1 Peter 5:8- "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
Devil wants your family. Don't make his job easy.
How to Keep These Resolutions
1. Write Them Down
Habakkuk 2:2- "Then the LORD answered me and said: 'Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.'"
Write your 7 resolutions. Display them.
Kitchen. Bedroom. Bathroom.Everywhere.
What you see daily,you remember.
2. Pray for Each One
Philippians 4:6- "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."
Each Sunday, pray for specific resolution.
"Lord, this week, help us love You more." "Lord, give us strength to forgive quickly."
Without prayer, you rely on your strength. Guaranteed failure.
3. Hold Each Other Accountable
Hebrews 10:24-25- "And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together."
Sunday evening: 15-minute family meeting.
"How did we live our resolutions this week?" "Where did we fail?" "How to do better?"
Honesty + grace = growth.
4. Celebrate Victories
1 Thessalonians 5:11- "Therefore comfort each other and edify one another."
When someone applies resolution, celebrate.
Dad forgave quickly today?"Thank you Dad for obeying God!"
Mom served with joy?"Great Mom, you're like Christ!"
Child memorized verse?"Excellent! Word is in your heart!"
What we celebrate, we repeat.
5. Repent Quickly When You Fail
1 John 1:9- "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
You will fail. It's guaranteed.
Dad will yell. Mom will be impatient. Children will disobey.
Don't stay in failure.
"I failed. Lord, forgive me. Family, forgive me.I restart now."
Proverbs 24:16- "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again."
Rising = continuing. Staying down = quitting.
6. Adjust If Necessary
Proverbs 19:21- "There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the LORD's counsel—that will stand."
If resolution doesn't work, adjust.
Family devotional at 6 AM impossible?Switch to 7 PM.
10 minutes too long with young children?Start with 5.
Important isn't perfection. It's obedience.
7. Depend on God DAILY
John 15:5- "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."
WITHOUT ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING.
Not "you'll struggle".NOTHING.
Each morning:"Lord, without You, I can do nothing today.Give me Your strength. Guide me. Live through me."
The Danger of Resolutions Without God
You Become Proud
"Look how disciplined our family is! How we pray! How we read Bible!"
Luke 18:11-12- "The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank You that I am not like other men.'"
God resists the proud.
God-centered resolutions ="Lord, thank You for Your grace that allows us to obey You."
You Fall Into Legalism
"We MUST pray 10 minutes. We MUST memorize verse. We MUST, we MUST, we MUST."
Galatians 3:3- "Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?"
It's not rules. It's relationship.
We pray because we love God.Not to check box.
You Crush Your Family
"Why didn't you read your Bible today?" "You forgot verse AGAIN?"
Colossians 3:21- "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."
Grace must accompany your resolutions.
We encourage. We help.We don't condemn.
The Final Message
Your family resolutions aren't bad.
But without God at center, they're useless.
Isaiah 55:8-9- "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the LORD. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.'"
God's ways are higher.
You want united family?God must be at center.
You want children who love God?You must love Him first.
You want solid marriage?Build on Christ, not on your efforts.
This year, don't just make resolutions.
Invite God to build your family.
Psalm 127:1- "Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it."
Without Him = vain.
With Him = victory.
Choose.
Foundational Bible Verses
Psalm 127:1- "Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it."
Matthew 6:33- "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
Deuteronomy 6:6-7- "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house."
John 15:5- "Without Me you can do nothing."
Philippians 4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."