You Don't Know What A Couple Is

The world has lied to you.

It told you a couple is two people who love each other. That marriage is a legal contract with a nice party. That a family is a group of people living together.

And you believed it.

Then your couple collapsed when "love" left. Your marriage became a legal prison. Your family disintegrated in conflicts and distance.

Because you built on the WORLD'S definition. Not on GOD'S definition.

And the two are radically different.

Matthew 7:24-27 says: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Your couple, your marriage, your family are either on the ROCK (Christ), or on SAND (the world's definitions).

Today, you'll discover what God REALLY says about couple, marriage and family. And why without Him at the center, everything collapses.

WHAT A COUPLE IS ACCORDING TO GOD

The World's Definition

The world says: "A couple is two people who love each other and decide to be together."

Simple. Romantic. And completely WRONG.

Because according to this definition:

• The couple exists as long as "love" exists
• When feelings change, the couple can dissolve
• Each remains fundamentally independent
• There's no commitment beyond emotions
• The couple is centered on what YOU feel

That's why 70% of unmarried couples separate within 5 years. It's built on sand. On changing emotions. On unstable feelings.

God's Definition

God says something radically different.

Genesis 2:18 declares: "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"

Note three fundamental truths:

1. God is the INITIATOR of the couple

"The LORD God said". It wasn't Adam who asked. It was GOD who saw the need and created the solution.

The couple isn't a human invention. It's a divine CREATION. A God design. An institution established by Him.

2. The couple responds to a divine NEED

"It is not good for the man to be alone." God sees something that's "not good". Isolation. Loneliness. Incompleteness.

The couple exists to fill what God identified as a lack in the human condition. Not just for your happiness. To accomplish HIS purpose.

3. The couple is a COMPLEMENTARITY

"A helper suitable for him." Not identical. SUITABLE. Different but compatible. Complementary.

God's couple isn't two halves making a whole (you're already complete in Christ). It's two wholes complementing each other to accomplish more together than separately.

What This Means Practically

A couple according to God is:

Two people GOD brought together - Not chance. Not just attraction. God is actively involved in this union.

To accomplish a common PURPOSE - Glorify God together. Serve His kingdom. Grow in holiness mutually.

In intentional COMPLEMENTARITY - Your differences aren't bugs, they're features. They complete you.

With a COMMITMENT beyond emotions - Biblical love is a CHOICE, not just a feeling. A daily decision, not a volatile emotion.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

"A cord of three strands" - You, your partner, and GOD. That's what a couple according to God is.

WHAT MARRIAGE IS ACCORDING TO GOD

The World's Definition

The world says: "Marriage is a legal contract between two people who love each other, with tax and social benefits."

That's why:

• 50% of marriages end in divorce
• People "try" marriage like test-driving a car
• Marriage is seen as optional, outdated, constraining
• People marry for the event, not the commitment
• Divorce is the easy solution when "it doesn't work anymore"

The world's marriage is a contract you can cancel when the terms no longer suit you.

God's Definition

God says something TOTALLY different.

Genesis 2:24 declares: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

This verse contains FOUR non-negotiable elements of biblical marriage:

1. LEAVING: "A man leaves his father and mother"

Marriage requires SEPARATION. Not necessarily geographical, but relational and emotional.

You can't be married while remaining psychologically dependent on your parents. You can't let your parents interfere in your marriage. You can't prioritize your parents above your spouse.

Marriage creates a NEW family unit. The primary one. The one that comes first after God.

2. CLEAVING: "and is united to his wife"

The Hebrew verb dabaq means "to stick", "to bond", "to adhere strongly". Like super-glue.

Marriage isn't flexible cohabitation. It's a PERMANENT attachment. A fusion. A bond you can't easily undo.

You're no longer two independent entities cohabiting. You're attached. Bonded. Fused.

3. UNITY: "and they become one flesh"

The deepest unity possible. Not just physically (though that's included). Emotionally. Spiritually. Financially. In all aspects of life.

"ONE flesh". No longer "me" and "you". Now "WE". A new entity created by marriage.

4. PERMANENCE: (implicit in the entire structure)

This union is designed to be PERMANENT. "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" (Matthew 19:6).

Marriage isn't a trial. Not a renewable contract. It's a LIFELONG COVENANT.

Marriage Is A Covenant, Not A Contract

Malachi 2:14 says: "The LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."

"The wife of your COVENANT."

A contract:

• Protects what is MINE
• Defines my rights
• Can be broken if terms are violated
• Is centered on what I receive

A covenant:

• Unites what is OURS
• Defines my responsibilities
• Is maintained even when difficult
• Is centered on what I give

Biblical marriage is a COVENANT. Before God. For life. In good times and bad.

What This Means Practically

Marriage according to God is:

A sacred covenant before God - Not just before the State. God is WITNESS to your vows. He holds you accountable.

An unconditional commitment - "For better or worse". Not "as long as I'm happy". UNCONDITIONALLY.

A fusion of two lives into one - You no longer live for yourself. You live for US. For God's glory in this union.

A reflection of Christ and the Church - Ephesians 5:31-32 says: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."

Your marriage is a living DEMONSTRATION of Christ's love for His Church. It's immense. It's sacred. It's beyond you.

WHAT FAMILY IS ACCORDING TO GOD

The World's Definition

The world says: "A family is a group of people linked by blood or choice who live together."

According to this definition:

• Family is just a practical structure
• Its purpose is comfort and mutual support
• It exists for its members' happiness
• It can be defined any way
• It has no purpose beyond itself

God's Definition

God says something radically deeper.

Psalm 127:1 declares: "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain."

"Unless the LORD BUILDS the house" - God isn't a guest in your family. He's the ARCHITECT. The BUILDER. The FOUNDATION.

1. Family is a divine INSTITUTION

Genesis 1:28 says: "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth.'"

Family isn't a social invention. It's a divine CREATION. The first institution He established. Before the Church. Before government. The FAMILY.

2. Family has a divine PURPOSE

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 commands: "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Family's primary purpose: TRANSMIT the faith. Teach God's ways. Train the next generation.

Your family doesn't exist just for your comfort. It exists to accomplish God's purposes on earth.

3. Family is the spiritual TRAINING ground

Proverbs 22:6 says: "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

Your home is:

• A school of faith
• A character laboratory
• A spiritual training center
• A missionary base

What happens in your family has ETERNAL repercussions.

Elements Of A Family According To God

Divine order in roles - Not oppression. ORDER. Each has a God-given role. Husband, wife, children. All equal in value, different in function.

Mutual sacrificial love - Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." A love that GIVES, not takes.

Instruction in the Word - The Bible isn't just read at church. It's LIFE in your home. Daily. Naturally.

Family prayer - You pray TOGETHER. Parents and children. For needs. For others. For the kingdom.

Mutual service - Each serves others. No one is served. All serve. Like Christ who "did not come to be served, but to serve" (Mark 10:45).

Witness to the world - Your family is a LIGHTHOUSE. Neighbors, colleagues, your children's school SEE how you live. And that preaches the Gospel or contradicts it.

WHY GOD MUST BE AT THE CENTER

Now the crucial question: Why must God be at the CENTER of your couple, marriage, family?

Reason 1: Without God, You Have No Foundation

Remember Matthew 7:24-27. Two houses. Same storm. Opposite results.

The difference? The FOUNDATION.

Your couple without God:

• Rests on your emotions (changing)
• Depends on your efforts (limited)
• Is vulnerable to all external pressures
• Has no purpose beyond your happiness

Your couple WITH God:

• Rests on His Word (unchanging)
• Depends on His power (unlimited)
• Is anchored in the One who doesn't change
• Has an eternal purpose beyond your circumstances

Psalm 127:1 says clearly: "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor IN VAIN."

IN VAIN. All your efforts. All your good will. All your techniques. IN VAIN if God isn't the builder.

Reason 2: Without God, You Have No Power To Love

1 John 4:7-8 says: "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

"Love comes FROM God."

True, sacrificial, unconditional, permanent love - this love COMES from God. You don't naturally generate it. You don't maintain it by will.

Your human love:

• Exhausts when you're hurt
• Weakens when you're disappointed
• Dies when you're neglected
• Depends on reciprocity

God's love IN you:

• Continues even when you're hurt
• Perseveres even when you're disappointed
• Survives even when you're neglected
• Gives without condition of return

Romans 5:5 says: "God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

You NEED the Holy Spirit to love your spouse as God commands. You can't do it alone.

Reason 3: Without God, You Have No Model

Ephesians 5:1-2 says: "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

"Just as CHRIST loved."

How should you love? As CHRIST loved. How should you serve? As CHRIST served. How should you forgive? As CHRIST forgave. How should you sacrifice? As CHRIST sacrificed.

Without Christ as model, you only have:

• Your parents' imperfect examples
• Culture's dysfunctional models
• Your own selfish ideas of love

With Christ as model:

• You have a PERFECT standard
• You have a CONCRETE example
• You have CLEAR direction

Reason 4: Without God, You Have No Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 says: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

"As the Lord FORGAVE you."

You WILL hurt your spouse. Your spouse WILL hurt you. It's inevitable. Two sinners living together = guaranteed conflicts.

Without God:

• You hold grudges
• You keep score of wrongs
• You use the past as a weapon
• You never truly forgive

With God:

• You forgive as you've been forgiven
• You release as you've been released
• You cover offense with love
• You rebuild through grace

Ephesians 4:32 commands: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Forgiveness is only possible because you first RECEIVED God's forgiveness.

Reason 5: Without God, You Have No Eternal Purpose

1 Corinthians 10:31 says: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

"Do ALL for the glory of God."

Your couple, your marriage, your family exist for something greater than your happiness. They exist for GOD'S GLORY.

Without this vision:

• Your marriage becomes self-centered
• Your family becomes a selfish project
• You measure success by your comfort
• When you're unhappy, you quit

With this vision:

• Your marriage becomes a mission
• Your family becomes a ministry
• You measure success by glory given to God
• Even in difficulties, you persevere for His glory

Matthew 5:16 says: "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

Your marriage and family are LIGHTS pointing to God.

Reason 6: Without God, You Will Fail

This is the brutal reality. Without God at the center:

Statistics prove it:

• 50% divorce rate in couples without active faith
• 70% separation in unmarried couples
• Massive rate of family dysfunction

But with God:

• Less than 5% divorce among couples who pray together daily
• Significantly higher family stability
• Faith transmission to future generations

John 15:5 says: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

"Apart from me you can do NOTHING."

Nothing lasting. Nothing truly good. Nothing that survives storms.

HOW TO PUT GOD AT THE CENTER

You now understand WHY God must be at the center. But HOW do you do it concretely?

1. Start Personally With Christ

You can't have a Christian marriage if YOU aren't Christian.

John 3:3 says: "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again."

Being born again means:

• Recognizing you're a sinner
• Believing Jesus died for your sins
• Receiving Him as Lord and Savior
• Giving Him control of your life

If you've never done this, do it NOW. Pray: "Jesus, I'm a sinner. I believe you died for my sins and rose again. Save me. Become Lord of my life. Amen."

2. Pray Together Daily

Matthew 18:19-20 promises: "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

"There am I with them."

When you pray TOGETHER:

• Christ is present between you
• Your union is spiritually strengthened
• You align with God's purposes
• You invite His power into your marriage

Start simple: 5 minutes each evening. Hand in hand. Pray for:

• Your needs
• Your children
• Your spiritual growth
• Others

3. Read The Bible Together

Joshua 1:8 says: "Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."

God's Word:

• Guides your decisions
• Corrects your mistakes
• Nourishes your faith
• Unites your vision

Read together:

• One chapter of Proverbs each day
• A Psalm in the morning
• A New Testament passage in the evening

Discuss what you read. Apply it to your life.

4. Go To Church Together

Hebrews 10:25 commands: "Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Church isn't optional. You NEED:

• Teaching of the Word
• Fellowship with other believers
• Spiritual accountability
• Corporate worship

Find a church that faithfully preaches the Bible. Commit. Serve. Grow.

5. Serve Together

1 Peter 4:10 says: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."

Serving together:

• Unites your couple in common purpose
• Keeps you focused on others, not yourselves
• Develops your Christian character
• Shows Christ to the world

Serve:

• In your church
• In your community
• In a ministry
• To your neighbors

6. Make Decisions According To The Bible

Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

"In ALL your ways submit to him."

Every decision - finances, career, children, moving, purchases - submit it to God.

Ask:

• "What does the Bible say about this?"
• "How does this glorify God?"
• "Does this build our family spiritually?"

Pray before deciding. Seek God's wisdom, not just your desires.

7. Educate Your Children In Faith

Deuteronomy 6:7 commands: "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

"When you sit at home... when you walk... when you lie down... when you get up."

ALWAYS. EVERYWHERE. CONSTANTLY.

Faith is taught:

• Through family worship
• Through natural conversations
• Through your life example
• Through how you handle difficulties

Your children must SEE Christ in you. Not just HEAR about Him.

THE FINAL TRUTH

Here's what you must understand:

Your couple isn't yours. God created it. He owns it. You're stewards of it.

Your marriage isn't for you. It's for God's glory. To reflect Christ and the Church. To accomplish His purposes.

Your family doesn't exist for your comfort. It exists to make disciples. To transmit faith. To be a light in the world.

And without GOD at the absolute center of all this, you will fail. Not maybe. Certainly.

Psalm 127:1 isn't a suggestion. It's a REALITY: "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain."

You have two choices:

1. Build your couple, marriage, family on YOUR ideas - On emotional love. On the world's definitions. On your own efforts. And watch everything collapse when storms come.

2. Build your couple, marriage, family on CHRIST - On His Word. On His model. On His power. And stand firm when storms come.

Matthew 7:25 promises: "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Storms WILL come. Difficulties are GUARANTEED. Conflicts are INEVITABLE.

The question isn't "Will we have problems?"

The question is: "What have we built on?"

If it's on Christ - the ROCK - you'll stand.

If it's on something else - SAND - you'll fall.

Choose today. What will you build on?

Bible verses used:

• Matthew 7:24-27
• Genesis 2:18
• Genesis 2:24
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
• Malachi 2:14
• Matthew 19:6
• Ephesians 5:31-32
• Psalm 127:1
• Genesis 1:28
• Deuteronomy 6:6-7
• Proverbs 22:6
• Ephesians 5:25
• Mark 10:45
• 1 John 4:7-8
• Romans 5:5
• Ephesians 5:1-2
• Colossians 3:13
• Ephesians 4:32
• 1 Corinthians 10:31
• Matthew 5:16
• John 15:5
• John 3:3
• Matthew 18:19-20
• Joshua 1:8
• Hebrews 10:25
• 1 Peter 4:10
• Proverbs 3:5-