Value: a demanding definition
Value is not what you declare; it’s what you protect. What you put first each day is your real theology. If God, the covenant, and the children don’t outrank screens, noise, and ego, the home goes hollow. Value = priority + protection + repetition. “So that you may approve what is excellent.” (Philippians 1:10, ESV) “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, ESV)
Diagnosis without excuses
If you say “family is sacred” but let the phone swallow evenings, your value is the screen. If you repeat “God first” but won’t give Him 10 real minutes, your value is the rush. If you say “my marriage matters” but refuse quick repair, your value is pride. Value shows up as time given, limits set, actions repeated.
Order of priorities (non-negotiable)
1) God: daily presence (short, real, doable).
2) Covenant: truth + gentleness + fast repair.
3) Children: eye contact, clear rules, spoken blessing.
4) Work: honesty, sane limits.
5) Everything else: leisure, socials, chatter… after.
“Hard” rituals that prove value (7 days)
God 10: on waking, 10 min Scripture/prayer; write one line of obedience for today.
Face-to-face 15: after dinner, 15 min phone-free; 90 s each; listener mirrors in one sentence; end with one specific thanks.
Repair 60: if a word snaps, within the hour say, “sorry for my tone; let me restart gently.”
Blessing 1: each night, one spoken sentence of blessing over spouse and kids.
Cut-off: phone basket, alarm outside bedroom, TV off after 9 pm on weekdays.
Money, screens, words: red lines
Money: freeze one non-essential spend today; set a budget “essentials first” (giving/rent/food/savings). Screens: one screen-free hour after dinner; no notifications at meals; no screen in bed. Words: ban “always/never”; one short truth + one realistic need; no sarcasm, no contempt.
When it’s hard (and you don’t feel like it)
Don’t wait for the feeling; choose and repeat. Will opens the door; grace carries the weight. Write today’s three choices, do them, then talk about moods. The soul follows faithful action.
Truth metrics (post on the fridge)
God 10: [ ] Mon [ ] Tue [ ] Wed [ ] Thu [ ] Fri [ ] Sat [ ] Sun
Face-to-face 15: [ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3
Repair <60 min: [ ] Kept this week
Daily blessing: [ ] Kept 7/7
Screens after dinner: [ ] Zero break (if broken, note cause and correct tomorrow)
What the home will feel like
Fewer raised voices, more short true sentences. The table clears; faces return. “Thank you” and “sorry” reappear. Kids obey better because rules are clear and visible.
Straight prayer
“Father, teach us to approve what is excellent (Phil 1:10). Guard our hearts (Prov 4:23) so our home can breathe. We put You, our covenant, and our children first. Give us strength to keep today’s acts. Amen.”