You live together. You share a bed, bills, a life. You love each other. You're faithful to each other. "It's just a piece of paper," you say. "We don't need marriage to prove our love."

Modern society calls it "living together." God calls it something else.

What cohabitation really reveals

Modern cohabitation sells itself as commitment without paperwork. But let's examine reality: it's an arrangement where either person can leave whenever they want, without legal consequences, without public responsibilities, without real security for the other.

You say you're committed? Then why refuse the public and legal commitment that is marriage? If you're ready to share a bank account, why not a marriage certificate? If you're ready to have children together, why not legally bind yourselves?

Cohabitation is often half-commitment. "I'm with you... but I'm keeping an easy exit." This isn't love according to God. This is love according to our culture that values flexibility over faithfulness.

What Scripture teaches

The Bible knows only two civil states: single or married. There's no third category called "together but not really committed."

When Scripture speaks of "the marriage bed undefiled," it clearly establishes that sexual intimacy belongs exclusively to marriage. Cohabitation inevitably includes sexual relations, which automatically places this situation in the category of sexual immorality (porneia in Greek).

Paul doesn't say "live together first to see if it works." He says: "Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." The possessive "own" implies a public and recognized commitment, not informal cohabitation.

But we'll get married someday

This justification reveals exactly the problem. If you're going to get married "someday," why not today? What's holding you back?

Money for a big ceremony? The Bible doesn't require an expensive party. It requires public commitment. You can get married at city hall tomorrow for a few dollars and have a party later.

You want to "be sure" before committing? Then be honest: you're not ready for permanent commitment. And if you're not ready for commitment, you're not ready for the intimacy that comes with it.

You want the benefits of marriage (companionship, emotional security, sexual intimacy) without the responsibilities of marriage (public commitment, legal obligations, renouncing other options). This is exactly what God doesn't approve.

The question of real commitment

Biblical marriage isn't just a private feeling between two people. It's a public commitment before God, before witnesses, recognized by the community and protected by law.

Why is this public dimension important? Because it creates accountability. It tells the whole world: "This person is mine, I am theirs, and I take responsibility for this commitment."

Cohabitation specifically avoids this public responsibility. "We love each other, but we don't want society, law, or church meddling in our relationship." This is refusing the protection these structures offer, especially to the more vulnerable party in the couple.

Practical consequences

Cohabitation often places women in a particularly vulnerable position. After years of living together, children perhaps, they have no legal protection if the man decides to leave. No alimony obligation, no automatic property division, nothing.

God didn't invent marriage to complicate things. He instituted it to protect both parties, create a stable structure for raising children, and reflect His covenant with His people.

Living in cohabitation while calling yourself Christian also sends a contradictory message. How can you witness to your faith when your lifestyle openly contradicts biblical commands?

The path of obedience

If you're currently cohabiting, you have three biblical options:

One: Get married. If you truly love each other and are committed for life, formalize that commitment. No need to wait until you have money for a big party. Get married first, celebrate later.

Two: Live separately while remaining a couple, without sexual relations, until you're ready to marry. Difficult in our culture, but it's biblical obedience.

Three: Break up if one refuses to marry. This reveals that person isn't ready for the commitment God requires.

There is no scriptural fourth way. "Continue as before hoping God will look the other way" is not a biblical option.

True love commits

True love doesn't say "let's live together to see if it works." True love says "I choose you publicly, legally, definitively, no matter what."

Marriage isn't a guarantee of a perfect relationship. But it's the framework God established for human love to reflect His own faithful and unwavering love for us.

Cohabitation resembles love. But it lacks the essential element God values above all: unconditional and public commitment. Without that, it's not love according to God's heart.

Foundational Bible verses

Hebrews 13:4 - "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

1 Corinthians 7:2 - "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor."

Genesis 2:24 - "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."